Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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