I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
