i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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