is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
