oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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