You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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