My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
