after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
