Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize