Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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