I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
