What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
