You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
