Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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