You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize