The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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