it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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