Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
