fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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