can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
