I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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