i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
