does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
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My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
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You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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