Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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