Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
So here I am, sexting at work.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
