Kareoke will never be a sober sport
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
