Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
