I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
