I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Randomize
