i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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