I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
My breasts were aching with rage.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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