I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
