so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I wish I only lived at night.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
