it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
