What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
