You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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