please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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