They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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