Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
