My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Randomize
