So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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