Apparently you make a good broom.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
