Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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