I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
