My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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