i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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