i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
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Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
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