i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
