You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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