What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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