So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
