11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
