Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
