While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
