then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
