I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
