That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
