I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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