I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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