He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
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